National Coming Out Day!

images-19“Hope will never be silent.”- Harvey Milk

Romance is my favorite genre because yes… I’m a romantic and I love LOVE.  But a good romance story is about hope too.  Hope is the catalyst for every journey in a good love story.  No matter how craptastic the MC’s life is, by page 250 you have faith it’s going to work out somehow.  The reader willingly goes for the ride because hope is a beautiful thing.  Harvey Milk said, hope will never be silent. I agree. Hope is the foundation of all change and with change comes the potential for truth.

My son came out two years ago to his father and me.  I’d been waiting for the words.  I thought saying them aloud would change his life.  It did but not quickly.  He was still afraid.  I didn’t understand why because in my head the story was written.  Speak and be free!  Real life doesn’t work like that.  He told me a few months ago that he hated coming out because it was a continual process.  Something he felt he had to share with different people at different times… and hopefully get the timing right.  It was an awkward experience that made him feel vulnerable.  Something he was sure I couldn’t understand.  He was wrong.

Being a parent is the ultimate form of vulnerability.  You hold, you protect, you teach and then… you have to let go.  And it’s hard!  The worry never goes away.  Will they make friends easily?  Will they know how to deal with mean kids and circumstances beyond their control?  In short… how will they ever fucking make it a day in that big scary world without me by their side to help them fight?  I have 3 children.  Worry is my middle name.  Vulnerable is my hyphenated surname.

The funny thing is when you’re faced with a desire to protect at all cost, vulnerability and fear are pushed aside to make room for hope.  Yes, life sucks sometimes.  It can be very unfair.  But hope makes the journey worthwhile.  My son is out and in my opinion is happier than ever because he’s taken the beginning steps to finding his truth.  He hates having to announce his sexuality but maybe he can be part of a change to promote equality.  Change the things you don’t like.  Make your world a better place by being you.

Happy Coming Out Day.  May your journey be brightly beautiful, rainbow colored and filled always with hope.

Lane xo

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